***EDIT*** Here I am now with a direct comparison...
****Per Kailyn- here I was then.... or before..
I know, what else is a blog for. I am in a period of extreme discomfort with my body. I fattened back up recently and have decided that I just have to face the situation head on. So, I am back with the cult using their online program and dreading the return to the scale.I am working out a reasonable amount- running between 25-40 miles a week and getting a couple of gym sessions in when I can. But I am lame. I am still a pudgy chubber who keeps making excuses for the fact that I overeat and don't stick to a program with any real commitment. Oh.. hear the self loathing. And yes, these are the most unflattering pants ever.... more Evidence!!!
***Edited to include a before pictures**** See, I listen to Kailyn.I have a million excuse - the business, two kids, blah, blah, blah..
So today, I got an email from "the cult" saying they want to run my success story again. OMG- what to do. This is what I am looking like these days and its not all that successful. I guess I can be that story of success-failure-hope. I basically need to drop another fifteen to twenty pounds...
***EDITED**** So truth be told- I have zero idea how much I weigh right now.... and things that were tight are not longer tight - but nonetheless- I feel so fat...
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9 comments:
Honey, you may think you look awful but you don't. Maybe you have put on some weight (not obvious to me from your blog photos but I won't argue with you if you say you have) but you are not fat. If you feel you've fallen off the wagon so to speak then definitely pick yourself back up, but try to be kind to yourself as well. If you are even able to fit into size sixes, you can't possibly be fat.
Being healthy is the most important thing. I think you're gorgeous!
I think you look amazing. We are always our worst critics but come on, you look amazing! I know you don't feel it but you have to start saying good things to yourself, give yourself positive feedback. When you start to think negative, go the other way.
You are seriously AWESOME!
I love that you are so honest with your weight struggles. It's not an easy journey, so many of us can relate to your ups and downs. What's important is that if you do gain 5 pounds, you don't give up! That makes you a rock star of success in my book!
I want you to pull out those photos that the cult used as your before shots. Then I want you to compare them to these photos. You may have slipped recently but overall you are a success.
I agree with your friends. You look great and a size 6 is small. I can understand how you feel. Any kind of weight gain big or small can make you feel defeated. Stay positive though and think of how far you have come. Being healthy and running all those miles is should help you stay positive. You do amazing things. Don't give up, your better than that!
I can understand the "feeling fat" thing, but the reality is you are still small and beautiful and MUCH MUCH smaller than your "before" photos. I hope you can see it when you look at the photos side-by-side. Not to be a big ol' finger-wagger, but I know the last thing you want to do is get stuck on the distorted-body-image merry-go-round. Remember, those precious babies are watching!
MaryK
Girl... you crazy.
You look great still. Maybe you're not where you were at your thinnest, but you still look great. I totally understand where you're coming from though. I get all in a depressed huff when I try to clothes and assume I should be a certain size.
I just got measured for a wedding and they said I would be between a 4 and 6. So you know my crazy ass ordered the 4. WTF? Now I have to be super crazy to make sure I'm a 4 in March.
This is extreme, but check out this article:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/
I think you still look great! And a size 6, I can't even imagine being that small. I think the last time I wore a 6 was in high school.
By looking at the comparison pictures alone, I'd say you don't look fat, but then everyone tells me I don't look fat. Even though I am 20 pounds over my ideal weight for my height. But I know how I feel on the inside. There is a "fat" feeling on the inside that maybe you understand? I exercise every day. Not as much as you do, but until I'm sweaty and exhausted and sore. I try to eat a healthy diet. Might it be our ages? I know if I did all I do now when I was in my 20s, I'd be rail thin. Now, massive effort nets minimal results. Many other women I know tell me the same story.
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